Tina - Creative Arts Ministry
Can you believe it? Four years of living in the Bay Area has come to an end. On June 23, I packed my boxes, bags, mattress, and furniture into a van and headed south to Irvine. It was a typical day in the Sunset-while most of the region was a blazing 90 degrees, the Sunset was cold, gloomy, and thick with fog. The fog was rolling in as I drove down Irving and I said to myself, "Man, I’m going to miss the fog." When I moved to San Francisco’s Sunset District two years ago I was at an unstable place in my life, on the verge of quitting my job and moving to a new area, and feeling lonelier than ever. One of my few sources of stability was the City’s reliable fog. Without fail the fog would roll in each morning, burn off by noon, and roll back in as the sun set. At the time, it was soothing to know that this was the same today as it was yesterday; as it was years ago and as it will be for years to come.
Around the same time I began attending LOL, a San Francisco small group before the SF satellite existed. The transparency of my first few friends at LOL-including David, Jane, Scott, Chris, Janet, JeeSoo, Christine, Kelly, and many others - made it impossible for me to continue hiding behind my mask of "perfection." I was encouraged to be real, admit my weaknesses, confess, and talk through my issues. It was a safe place where I wouldn’t be judged; where others knew how it felt to be judged, to fail, to disappoint and to be disappointed. To my surprise, people spoke openly about their deepest wounds-drug and alcohol abuse, sexual sins, issues with food, and so on.
Such an environment demanded honest sharing and authentic community. I learned for the first time that we’re all messed up and that admitting we’re broken isn’t a bad thing after all. In fact, in my brokenness God painted a picture of grace so personal, bright, and moving that it melted my heart and changed my life forever. Only when I realized how messed up I was did grace finally became amazing to me. It’s hard to find transparent people, especially in the church; we’re all too busy hiding behind our morality that we find no room for the cross to save us. I hunger for transparent people. Transparent people spur each other to depend on God for their salvation, and not on their own morality. Transparent people inspire me to allow the cross to do its work in my life, rebuking me when I rely on my own moral record, or my service opportunities at church, or anything other than Jesus’ finished work on my behalf.
Inspired, connected, and ready to share this good news with others so they too could feel as liberated as I did, I joined CAM to help launch the San Francisco satellite. What an honor it was to serve alongside some of the most humble, talented, and resilient people I know. Although I myself cannot draw, take steady video footage, work a soundboard, or sing in tune, I was able to masquerade as an artist while serving in CAM. It was fun because artists are cool, hip, and unique. They look at the world a little differently. People who are able to create something out of nothing are gifts from God to boring, square people like me. I like to do Sudoku puzzles, create databases to help organize events, and scrub my tub. I have an artist friend and through our very special friendship I’ve realized that artists are a joy to walk through the park with, go to museums with, go shopping with and, most of all, create Sunday services with. They notice colors and details, and appreciate all the beautiful little things God gave us to enjoy. It’s from my artist friends that I’ve learned what it means to glorify God and enjoy his presence-it is simply to take joy in his Creation, revel in his grace and, like a child, live playfully and excellently because you are your Father’s delight.
It’s because of CAM that I’m now able to see how creative our God really is. He is an artist to the core. In the same way that CAM tries to make pastoral messages more personal and real by adding small elements like drama, a cool backdrop, or a small take-home item, God does the same in our lives if we just take the time to notice. The fog in San Francisco was God’s “special element” for me to help me realize that he is faithful. The voice that spoke this world into being is the same voice that speaks into my heart. The God who made promises to Abraham and kept them is the same God who makes promises to me and keeps them. Lately my world has been a little unstable, like it was two years ago. After all, I did quit my job and move far from my friends in the Bay Area. But this time I’m not so lonely. It is soothing to my soul to have a Father who delights in me and who will never forsake me.
So I must take a few seconds here to thank you, Dave and Helen Chae and all your friends who left Southern California to answer God’s call to come north to share the gospel in the way that you do so well. Because you obeyed, my life is forever changed. Thank you.